mihalych_lv (mihalych_lv) wrote,

Не хочу быть миллионером

Примерно неделю назад получил "на мыло" письмо следующего содержания:

I am Barrister Lee Thomas a legal practitioner based in London, I want to
know if your email is still Valid, there is something very important I
have to discuss with you. Please get in touch with me by email to enable
us discuss further Please direct all reply to: (barr.leethomas24@live.com)

Вот думаю, какие могут быть ко мне дела у "лондонского адвоката", дай, думаю, спрошу.  Послал ему ответ:

Mr Lee! I can not imagine how things could discuss with me a London lawyer.
However, you are aroused my curiosity.

На что мне буквально моментально пришла вот такая здоровенная цидула:

(Will, Finance & Probate Solicitors)
London ,United Kingdom

Compliments, Please pardon my invading your privacy.The reason for sending this email is very fundamental to the doctrine of human privileges and rights. My name is Barrister Lee Thomas a legal practitioner based in London and the personal Attorney to late Mr. Adams Kolesnikov, a national of your country who died along with his wife and two sons who died in the Tube explosion between King’s Cross-and Russell Square in London. My client was a successful and is an accomplished family man, who made enough fortune before his untimely death. Since then I had made several Inquiries through your Embassy to locate any of my Clients extended relative but this exercise has proved unsuccessful. After several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives through the Internet, to locate any member of his family, not much progress was recorded.

My late client was an influential wealthy businessman, an oil magnet here in London and he left behind a deposit of fifteen Million United State Dollars only $15,000,000.00 (USD) in his domiciliary bank account in a commercial bank here in London.After the death of my client his bankers contacted me, as his Attorney to provide his next of kin who should inherit his funds. The board of directors of his bank adopted a resolution and I was mandated to provide his next of kin for the payment of this money within 28 Working days or forfeit the money to the bank as an abandoned property. The bankers had planned to invoke the abandoned property decree of 1996 to confiscate the funds after the expiration of the period given to me.

Fortunately, I came across your name, to my greatest astonishment, I discovered that you bear the same surname with my late client and coincidentally, you are national of the same country. Being convinced that you may be related with my late client or that you might provide clue to my search, I therefore, decided to contact with these facts before me, because of the similarities. By virtue of my closeness to the deceased and his immediate family, I am very much aware of my client financial standing and the bank account he operates. I have reasoned very professionally and I feel it will be legally proper to present you as the next of kin of my deceased client, so that you can be paid the funds left in his bank account. I therefore seek your consent to present you as the Next of Kin to the Deceased since you are at an advantage, bearing the same surname and equally from the same country that the proceeds of this Bank Account valued at $15,000,000.00 (USD) can be paid to you.

We shall both share the funds. 40% for me and 55% to you, while 5% should be for Expenses or your Government may require as Tax. I shall assemble all the necessary Legal Documents that will be used to back up our claim. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law. Please get in touch with me by replying this email to enable us discuss further. Your swift response is anticipated.

Mr. Lee Thomas
(Will, Finance & Probate Solicitors)

Перевод, спасибо гуглу. не занял много времени. Суть письма такова, что ЯКОБЫ адвокат солидного бизнесмена, безвременно погибшего в автомобильной катастрофе со своей женой и детьми оставил солидные бабки (15 лимонов американских гривен) и адвокат долго искал его родственников и нашёл вот меня, счастливчика, так как у нас с погибшим одна и та же фамилия.  Адвокат предлагал мне подать документы, чтобы отсудить право на наследство, в резултате чего ему полагалось 40%, а мне 55% от всей суммы, 5 процентов должны были уйти на расходу (коррупцию).
Понятно, что тут скрыто какое-то жульничество, так как ну не может быть у человека с деньгами никакого человеческого окружения, во всяком случае тех, кто с точностью скажет есть у него наследники или нет.  Однако чтобы не показаться не вежливым я ответил следующее:

Dear Mr. Lee. 
Unfortunately nothing can help you. I do not know about any of my relatives who live in England. None of them, and people named Adams. 
Accordingly, I have no documents that would have pointed to the relationship with an unknown to me, Mr. Adams Kolesnikov. 
Kolesnikov - a very common surname. In the telephone directory, my city is mentioned about a hundred phone numbers of people with that name. 

Не уверен, что гугл правильно перевёл меня, но я написал, что не имею никаких родственников в Англии и что моя фамилия достаточно распространённая, ведь только в телефонном справочнике "моего города"  зарегестрировано  больше сотни телефонов на такую же фамилимю.
Однако и это не охладило пыл "лондонского адвоката" и мне пришло ещё одно письмо:

(Will, Finance & Probate Solicitors)
Tel/Fax: +44 7024086416
Attn: ,
 I do appreciate your time on my mail. I must state here that there is every need for us to be cautious and work within the line in order to achieve this. Please go through my mail carefully and afterward do please feel free to give me a call if you wish. My Late client’s full name is Mr. Adams Kolesnikov Alexander. an investor in the oil and gas sector here in the UK . A nice man and that is why I am going out of my way to see to it that his estate is not wasted, stolen or confiscated by these corrupt bank officials.
I came to know of you from the internet in my search for a probable next of kin to my late client. I was almost giving up at a point of desperation when I found your name. I had confirmed with the consulate and of the opinion that you are very well related to him and therefore seeks your consent to present you to the bank and work hard to see to it that you are accepted by providing all the necessary back up legal documents to the bank, to support your claims. As I stated in my previous mail to you, I wrote after weeks of intense search for a likely next of kin to present to the bank to claim the full value of my clients’ intestate with the bank before his death.
The said money valued at fifteen million United States Dollars was willed to his sons but unfortunately he died with him in the blast leaving a vacuum to be filled. Since the death of my client, the bank had waited for someone to come around and lay claim to this deposit as his next of kin. No one ever came and this deposit has been there ever since its maturity. I, on my own have always believe that someone/one of his relatives will show up to lay claim to this but none has come forward before now. It was not until the bank wrote me last week as his legal adviser intimating me that they shall be applying the relevant laws which allows them to send such unclaimed the funds to the Treasury Department as unclaimed to be used in community development. This I never wish to happen because most of this unclaimed fund normally ends up in this corrupt greedy bank official’ pockets. I therefore took it upon myself and apply to be given more time to get to his relatives and they agreed to give me more 28 working days.
Accordingly to the law here, after some time and no one comes up for such claims, the bank normally forward such in-estate to the Treasury to be used in community developments but most of the times, it ends up being shared by the owners of these bank and officials of the Treasury. Hence my letter to you. The whole process of this transaction involves making an application to the bank and presenting you for the release of the money to you as the next of kin. I am quite aware of the legal implication of this transaction and claims and have in my possession legal documents to back up this claim, which i  procured  in your name as soon as we agree in principle to go ahead on this. I must state right here that this is a legal process and must follow and comply with all the laid down requirements and procedures which I guarantee to provide.
It works like this. Upon filing the application, the bank shall process it and then contact you direct with their decision to award or not to award the deposit to you and if they accept, they would be informing you on how the payment shall be made to you. I shall be using my position here to provide the entire legal requirement that is needed. The necessary legal papers has been procured to back it up and convince the bank that you are qualified as the next of kin. I have sent all the documents required for your claim to the bank.  I must state at this point that it is unethical and against the profession for me to be seeking you and also feel that I owe this to my client. I stand to be disrobed if I am found out but I am trusting you believing that you can keep the issue of my contacting first to yourself till this transaction is concluded and I come to meet you. The whole process shall take about 10 working days or less from the day we officially file the application. The information we required to file the application are
Your full Name:
Contact Address:
Contact numbers and fax if Available:
Age or DOB:
Preferred email of contact if any other:
My direct contact number is Tel/Fax: +44 7024086416 Feel free to give me a call so that we can discuss more to clear the Grey areas if need be. I will look forward to speaking or reading from you. We shall both share the funds. 40% for me and 55% to you, while 5% will be set aside for other expenses. Have a great day and thanks for your considerations on this matter.
I remain,
Yours Sincerely,
Attorney Lee Thomas
J.K Thomas and Associates
London United Kingdom

Из этого письма следовало, что "адвокат" не успокоился и продолжал гнуть своё предлагая сообщить необходимые данные, а также предлагал связаться с ним по указанному телефону. Данные, я разумеется сообщать не захотел, звонить тоже,  ведь можно попасться на звонке на крупную сумму, тем более, что на английском я не разговариваю.  Я отослал "господину Ли" ещё одно письмо:
Mr. Lee. To my regret, I am not a relative of the deceased millionaire, but it seems to me that I know who it could be. 
Vice Prime Minister of Ukraine Borys Kolesnikov, my - my namesake, a much better candidate for heirs than anyone else. 
In addition he has enough money to pay the necessary costs and opportunities to secure the necessary documents. 
He can be contacted through the official website of the Ukrainian government. 
Hope of a successful solution to the question he will thank me check on the purely symbolic amount. 
Yours sincerely

В этом письме я сообщил, что никак не могу претендовать на наследство, однако предложил обратится к солидному человеку, носящему ту же фамилию, что и я - вице-премьер министру Украины. Я ещё приписал, что этот человек найдёт все нужные документы и деньги на необходимые судебные издержки.
Я думал, что "господин адвокат", прочтя это письмо, поймёт, что со мной точно каши не сваришь и успокоится. Однако я ошибался. В тот же день я получил ответ:

(Will, Finance & Probate Solicitors) 
Thanks for your response, I can really observe your willingness and dedication to this business venture that will virtually come successful and as soon as the transfer is completed to your account, then I will have to travel down to meet with you and invest into property (Real Estates) and stock.
However, I have drafted an Application Letter. 
I will  ask that fill the Application Letter the email address of the bank is available on the top of the Application Letter and I have already called in and told them about the next of kin and that he is available to pick up this entitlement.
Meanwhile, I do also guess that the bank, might want us to forward some more information, Documents, Certificate and Court Affidavits, but don’t bother about all that, as I will secure whatever it is that they require as proof and backup for the completion of this transaction. I will also sincerely ask that you call me as soon as you get my email, because I would need to discuss some few details with you on phone and at least know you a bit. I hope it’s not too much to ask. 
All you have to do is, Fill the Application Form properly and forward the Application Letter and Certificate of Deposit to the bank by email attachment.
Yours Truly 
Thomas Lee 
(Will, Finance & Probate Solicitors)

"Адвокат" сообщал мне, что уже подготовил заявку в суд для решения дела о наследстве и предлагал мне эту заявку заполнить. Интересно, что изменилось окончание письма. Если раньше, оно заканчивалось словами "с уважением", то здесь написано "преданный вам" :). Заполнять и отсылать указанную заявку я, понятное дело, не стал.

Дело в том, что несколько лет назад умерла моя родная тётушка в США и я уже имел дело с наследованием. Сначала американский адвокат прислал мне "счастливую" новость. При этом он даже забыл упомянуть, когда именно тётушка отдала богу душу, от чего она умерла, просто написал, что ищет родственников. Когда же я подтвердил своё родство, то мне пришла цидула из американского посольства с просьбой подписаться, что я ознакомился с завещанием, которое говорило, что всё своё имущество, без уточнения количественных характеристик,  тётушка завещает своему душеприказчику, который должен её похоронить и следить за её могилой. 

При этом сотрудники посольства сообщали, что для оформления своей подписи мне надо прибыть в посольство и подтверждение подписи у них стоит уже не помню сколько долларов. Я, естественно, ничего отсылать не стал, а поднял руку вверх и резко опустил. Хотя этот самый душеприказчик вполне мог бы отослать некоторые сугубо личные вещи, вроде семейных фотографий, но пендосы такие вещи вообще не принимают в расчёт. 

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